Having the space to grow your own food is great. It shouldn’t be a privilege.
The day that I got the keys to our new rental house, I Googled “how to start a garden.” The house — which is a true oasis and the kind that my Millennial self definitely couldn’t afford to buy—came with a perfectly small backyard filled with fruit trees, herbs, and two raised beds.
I had never gardened a day in my life, though not for lack of interest. For more than a decade, I’d lived in small apartments without so much as a balcony to raise one sad tomato plant. On several occasions, I’d limply looked into getting on the…
When I realized weddings were inherently unremarkable, marriage stopped being so mythical
The engagement posts have slowed some since we turned 30, but not by much. Last year was the first in a while when we didn’t go to a single wedding, but that was because of COVID-19, not because our friends weren’t getting married. They were — just in backyards and parks and over Zoom. Because nothing, not even a global pandemic, can stop a wedding. Nothing can stop people from having their special day.
This was made clear to us as we attended a marathon of ceremonies between ages 25 and 28, though. We crisscrossed the city, the state, and…
No seriously, please tell me.
You ever see those cool women whose hair is just, like, up? And it looks great? Full and lush and shiny and both mussed and also elegant? How do they do it?
This is a serious question. Because I am 34 years old and I have had this hair growing out of my head for almost that entire time and I have never mastered a top-knot that looks both presentable and breezy.
Reader, I’m beginning to believe that all of these fantastic top-knots that I’ve seen at farmer’s markets (ok, Target) and on TV are, in fact, not effortless at…
Most people are earning less on unemployment, but at least they’re earning it regularly.
If you caught the H1N1 virus (also known as the swine flu) in Bellingham, Washington, in 2008, it might have been my fault. I was 21 years old, in my final year of college, and working as a waitress in an all-night diner. One night after a shift, the pain in my lower back was so extreme that I texted my dad to ask how I would know if I was passing a kidney stone. …
I mean look at that guy.
When I was in junior high, my friends and I used to rank the boys we found attractive based on a Friends scale. Joey was the worst, Chandler was ok, and Ross was the holy grail.
What the fuck was wrong with us.
Now, to be fair, none of the men (or women, or anyone) in that show is perfect. Or honestly even remotely tolerable (oh, the fat jokes. THE FAT JOKES). I can honestly say that as an adult, I would not want to be friends with any of the Friends.
But, rewatching Friends now—when I am no longer…
Hello anxiety my old friennnnnnd.
In the last two weeks, I have socialized (safely, at a distance, or within other quarantine protocols) with a record 4 (four) individuals who were not my partner or my immediate family.
What a rush! What a roller-coaster! What an exercise in after-the-fact self-loathing!
At the dawning of the pandemic, I felt an enormous amount of relief that my calendar was suddenly free of events. Between involvement in my local Democratic Party, my work as a consultant, and having, you know, friends and acquaintances, there were a lot of weeks pre-pandy where I did not have a single block of…
Or a Tamagotchi, whatever’s in your heart
Here is how my 14-year-old dog lets me know he’d like to go outside:
First, he lumbers down off of the bed on his special wooden stairs, which are very noisy. Then, he lingers in the hallway like a chatty neighbor who makes meaningful eye contact until you finally ask how he’s doing.
If boring a hole into me from 10 yards away doesn’t help, he will then start shuffling his feet to ensure I can’t ignore him. He is still staring at me as his little paws tip-tap on the floor. If I’m still unmoved, he will start to…
You cancelled Christmas. You had a Zoom Thanksgiving. But it feels like it doesn’t matter because some dingus had a no-mask NYE rager.
Today as folks with office-type jobs slid back into their home office chairs, facing a tidal wave of office emails and arbitrary office deadlines, many probably paused to consider the fact that they were still working from home. Their kids got up for “school” in whatever way that manifests — for littles with limited internet access or parents who can’t or aren’t involved in their education, the morning probably wasn’t a lot different than the winter break.
For shift workers, medical care providers, home health care workers, transit operators, and so many others, there’s little distinction between “holidays” and “every…
Honest question.
So you recently heard about the idea of student debt forgiveness and your first reaction was something like disgust, or maybe indignation. You heard that today’s students were just going to be let off the hook like the entitled babies that they are, never having to learn to be responsible. Pfft! You paid your debt! Why can’t they do the same?
To which I would ask, my dude: Why do you care?
But let’s talk about it.
When I was 17 years old, I voluntarily stepped into something like $75k in student debt, which might as well have been seven…
We seem to think that we need to voraciously consume bad news to be engaged. The opposite is true.
Some time in the early-1990s, I remember reading a bumper sticker out loud to my mother and asking her what it meant.
IF YOU’RE NOT MAD, YOU’RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION
The sticker was fairly worn and we were in Eugene, Oregon, so I assume the owner of the vehicle had probably purchased and placed it in reaction to the decisions and actions of the first President Bush, though I can’t be certain. There were plenty of things to be mad about at that time — which is exactly what my mother told me. …
