The Death of the ‘Special Day’

When I realized weddings were inherently unremarkable, marriage stopped being so mythical

The engagement posts have slowed some since we turned 30, but not by much. Last year was the first in a while when we didn’t go to a single wedding, but that was because of COVID-19, not because our friends weren’t getting married. They were — just in backyards and parks and over Zoom. Because nothing, not even a global pandemic, can stop a wedding. Nothing can stop people from having their special day.

This was made clear to us as we attended a marathon of ceremonies between ages 25 and 28, though. We crisscrossed the city, the state, and the country to celebrate the choices of our friends and family members. We stood next to them, posed for photos with them, read poems, and got too drunk, overflowing with happy tears. One summer, we attended a wedding almost every weekend.

These special days began to blend together. The songs. The toast. The meal, which, the dessert — either quirky or traditional, never both. Everyone we knew was dancing the familiar steps of a tradition which is, at this point, so very rote that we even invented a wedding BINGO game among friends. Burlap and lace? Check. Giant Jenga? Check.