The One Where Ross Geller Definitely Became An Incel

I mean look at that guy.

When I was in junior high, my friends and I used to rank the boys we found attractive based on a Friends scale. Joey was the worst, Chandler was ok, and Ross was the holy grail.

What the fuck was wrong with us.

Now, to be fair, none of the men (or women, or anyone) in that show is perfect. Or honestly even remotely tolerable (oh, the fat jokes. THE FAT JOKES). I can honestly say that as an adult, I would not want to be friends with any of the Friends.

But, rewatching Friends now—when I am no longer a tween, but rather, a fully-formed adult of the same age as most of the case circa season nine or ten—the biggest surprise is what an utter, complete, total piece of shit Ross Geller is.

Ross is honestly a bad person. And if he and Rachel are still happily together in the reunion (which I refuse to watch!!!), then we are truly in another dimension.

I am reasonably certain that if Friends had taken place 15 years later, Ross Geller would have spent his spare moments — the moments when he wasn’t gazing at fossils, Googling new hair products, whinging at his friends at the coffee shop, and wondering what his ex wife’s new wife has that he doesn’t have — making up fake Twitter accounts, calling…